Cut to the Chase Pick Up Lines

• I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.
• Nice legs...what time do they open?
• Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
• You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
• Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
• I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
• I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one?
• I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
• Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
• I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
• Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
• I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
• Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?
• You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
• Are those real?
• You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
• I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
• If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
• (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
• You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
• You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
• F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Sherry Titsbottom?
• Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
• My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
• Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
• Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
• My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
• Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
• My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
• I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
• If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
• Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?
• Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.
• Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???
• Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.
• I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
• (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.

The single women's pick up line survival guide (Swiped from a chick site for your personal Intel)

Man: Haven't we met before?
Woman: Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Man: So, wanna go back to my place ?
Woman: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

Man: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
Woman: It's in the phone book.

Man: But I don't know your name.
Woman: That's in the phone book too.

Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: What sign were you born under?
Woman: No Parking.

Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not Enter

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized !

Man: Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason
Woman: Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

Man: I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy.
Woman: You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?

Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone.

Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?
Woman: Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I'd go through anything for you.
Woman: Good! Let's start with your bank account.

Man: I'd love to get into your pants.
Woman: No thanks, I already have one a**hole in there already.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?